predictable to say, predictable to feel maybe but at some point i stopped living in dublin and started living in dublin you know? i think that means i can keep living in dublin but only sort of because it's so damn special here most of the time, it's really shitty sometimes but then it's not anymore. i feel like at some point i stopped making videos, making movies and just started making movies in a similar way. just not so much self-consciousness i mean. that happens to me a lot with movies and not as much with making other things. i get worried about going back home if i don't make movies as much, that wouldn't be ok. i am not living when i am not making movies but not in a compulsive way. i love the friends i have made here so much and that is not just because i finally told joe about the blog and now i am crying at the kitchen table, it was so nice when michael west handed me a glass of wine, and he said 'i'm michael,' and i looked down at the short glass in his hand like i saw it as an insert, i felt slightly insane, i've been editing for weeks, he'd shown such skill in pouring it. his posture is excellent. i have gained some interests here including editing, theatrical things - but not the theatre itself really at all - barbeque

but the blog'll continue and all